To notice or to “stop” thoughts in meditation?
Q.
During meditation there was a lot of thoughts. But I was able to see them from aside. I was able to notice them pass but was not able to stop them. What is this?
A.
The greatest distractions and the most prominent ones are those that appear within the mind itself not outside it, not the sounds you hear, the lights, influence of the full moon or the poles of earth… but the stream of thoughts in your head. This seems an endless train of thoughts: one wagon passes, the second follows, then the third… but the good news is that there is space between one wagon and another, a gap. With regular practice of meditation this gap is felt clearer. In this gap you just are! Are what? Nothing! Just your own being!
Thoughts in meditation are not an enemy to fight with. Thoughts are a part of normal meditation. It never happens that you close your eyes and no thoughts are there. In meditation most of the times thoughts are passing and thoughts are an integral part of meditation. When stress is being released, when impressions of past actions and events are washed from the system, when you are being liberated from the loads of stress, accumulated vasanas leave in the form of thoughts. The role of meditation is to make you aware of the thought instead of being involved in it. Whenever you are aware of thoughts (of you not being the mind) you establish yourself in the state of the seer. The witness not the one engaged. This is ultimately your true nature: the seer. Yoga as defined by Patanjali is “the cessation of the fluctuations of mind, then the seer abides in his own nature”. You are the seer. When the fluctuations of mind are settled you abide in your true nature. Being the witness is the real freedom. You then cease to be inside the train of thought but rather you start watching it from aside. When you identify with thought you are imprisoned in a jail of thought. You cannot imagine your being outside thoughts, thoughtless. When you manage to watch your thoughts from aside, then you have started gaining back your freedom. Being the seer is not only on the meditation cushion. The time of practice is just an “in vitro” experiment. When you leave your cushion after being established in the experience the “in vivo” part comes. Meditation on the cushion or in your meditation seat is your preparatory stage. With time watching whatever is taking place in the mind and witnessing what is taking place outside you will bring you freedom. Most of your problems are just problems in the mind. Mind created stuff. Problems are real as long as you are involved. When you look at them from without they stop to exist as problems, they become regular events. The more you are involved the more you put emotional and mental investment, the more a problem gets “real”. Events themselves are just what they are… they have no value for you unless your mind allows them to have this control.
So in meditation we do not try to stop thoughts. Even the attempt to stop thoughts is just another mental effort, another thought. it is useless to wash mud with more mud.
Inner Peace or a Warrior’s Break
Q.
I have reached a mini state of calmness due to meditation. But I still sometimes experience ups and downs with anger…
How can you control being angry? Is this possible? And is there really what we call inner peace or is it like “the warrior break” preparing for the next battle??
Life is a journey full of adventures. Adventures can be easy, can be tiring and can also be risky… An adventure is a game not a battle no matter how tiring and risky it is. If you are preparing for a battle you are then taking things to be more serious than they really are. If you choose to treat it as a battle remember that you are choosing yourself to be be the field of engagement and combat, and you are choosing (whether knowing it or not) to accept all the consequences and casualties. Life is a game even when it hurts, even when it is harsh and cruel. We can do our best to make it fairer and more compassionate but it will never stop being a game.
Peace is always there, even in the hardest times. You cannot lose it because it is your basic nature. It is what you really are. Of course you can be distracted by events, by thoughts and worries and you stop noticing it. But peace doesn’t seize to be your true nature. It is just that you deprived yourself of the tool of its manifestation. A talented musician who had never encountered a musical instrument cannot discover his talent. If he doesn’t have an instrument he won’t be able to manifest his talents. But this doesn’t make him less talented. When it comes to experiencing inner peace you yourself are the tool, the instrument of peace. Either you tune yourself to the peace within and deal with Life from a state of steadiness an openness, or you allow the stress from without to distract you totally.
Don’t try to “control anger”. Life is not a system of power. The more you try to control the more energy you give to that same thing you are trying to control. Don’t set “attaining inner peace” as a duty in front of you. Seeking is actually the opposite of peace. When you seek you start from an assumption that something is missing. Don’t fight yourself for bring angry. It is ok to burst with anger if this is spontaneous. Instead of suppressing anger (which will eventually add to your anger) just be aware that you are angry. In the same manner as you are aware of a thought in meditation. See your anger instead of allowing it to overwhelm. As you are already experiencing, regular meditation adds space to your being. Use this space to watch the ups and down of your mood. The best thing about our approach is its spontaneousity. Anger, depression, insularity are consequences of deeper imbalance. They are like shadows that move according to the movement of other objects. It is of no use to try to control the shadow while the object shedding it is still freely moving… our approach brings the change from the depth to surface.
If you are dealing with some issues that need you to be strict and serious inner calmness will not be a hindrance. If you need to face something or someone with an angry face, allow your tone and face to look angry but don’t get consumed by anger. If the rules of the game are such that you should show anger show it. But remember that deep within you are not affected with this anger… a parent can make an angry face and speak with an angry tone to rebuke a child who has just made his clothes dirty… a team captain can shout and show anger if a player misses the goal… but it is a game. Enjoy it!
How can I let go of the Past that I honor?
Q.
I was thinking during, and obviously after, the last meditation session and discourse of the true meaning of “letting go” of the past while living in here and now. But our past made us whom we are. I am so grateful for having every single minute and what I appreciate the most are those darkest moments, our past makes us, and being aware to our past experiences and how we managed to deal with them will make us grow… we honor our past, and live the now and the future will eventually come so we take it as it is. How can I let go of the past if it made my now?
When it comes to dealing with the past gratitude is the highest blessing. It is the step through which we incorporate all our experiences to the peak of the now. Gratitude is actually accepting the now and embracing our being and summing up all the impressions of the past and the hopes of the future to meet the majesty of the moment.
Looking back to the past, you can see the changes that took place in your body, in your mind and in your beliefs. You can see, you witness. As the willow beside a running river witnesses the continuous flow of water, thus you witness the continuous change that takes place day by day… the change that never stops. As change takes place, is it the observer or the observed that has changed? The past experiences lead to a clearer understanding of who we are. The past is there for the present. It should not be a mental obstacle that veils the now, a wall that blocks the way to the full experience of reality, of who you really are.
There is a story about a train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks.
The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught. When he was questioned he explained that there was a man standing on the track and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc. Then authorities questioned, “Are you mad? Just to save the life of one person you put the life of so many passengers under danger. You should have run over that person!”
The driver said,” Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.”
The past came and ran into the fields. It has already passed. When it is an obstacle run over it! Don’t chase it in your present moment. Once you run over it becomes your treasure! It builds you up… it becomes a step to growth.
Yes, the past is a treasure. It is to be appreciated. But don’t live in your treasure box. The past is the cradle of today and today is already a cradle for the coming future… when the past was here it was today, and when the future will come it will be today.
Letting go of the past doesn’t mean being unthankful. The contrary, it is the ultimate gratitude! Living in the now and accepting it is the greatest “thank you” one can say to his / her past and future both together. Letting go of the past is understanding that the past was a now, and only the current moment can exist. Letting go means not to reject any single experience one passed through and not to cling to any… letting go is the end of all judgment and resentment and regret. It is not denial, not rejection, but the opposite: full embracing and appreciation!
Even if it seems weird to hear it, what you are doing is exactly the “letting go” that you are afraid of! honor your past, and live the now and the future will eventually come so take it as it is! You are on the right way. Don’t hesitate. Enjoy!
