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Six Sure Ways to Delude Yourself in Spirituality

1. Attend plenty of different enlightening workshops and sessions.

Hunt after “self-development” workshops: different meditations, yoga workshops, chakra opening sessions, past life regression, affirmation meditations, meditations on higher plains of existence…practice a bit of the techniques taught in every practice and session you can reach to. Especially trust workshops that “talk to the heart” where the workshop leader is “full of Love” and compassion. Trust even more the workshops where you are led to remember your weaknesses, the pains you had, where you are supposed to forgive yourself and others, ie. to recall all the sh..t from the darkest zones of oblivion… The more workshops you attend the more knowledge you gather in your mind the better is your progress in spiritual growth delusion.

2. Use the law of attraction.

betterfeelingthoughtdotcom-carrotsRead “The Secret” or any other book on the law of attraction and follow the advises given there. Always set targets and visualize them achieved. Want what you want from the innermost depth of your heart! Ask for more, want more and more… “tap to the source” of all good with more visualization and true wanting… ask for “abundance”… trust that things “in the future will be better than NOW” ! Attract people, attract money, attract health, attract anything by thinking positively about the subject you want to attract. The more you think of something and the more you are emotionally attached to it, the more that thing is likely to manifest, and the more you are spiritually evolved.

3. Measure your progress in Yoga classes.

Ashtanga_yoga_BeiurtAttend powerful yoga classes where the instructor herself / himself is super flexible. Gentle classes would not help. Do hot yoga, power yoga all the vinyasas you can! Sweat! Loose calories! If you are not physically satisfied in the yoga session it is of no use. Measure your progress day after day. Push as much as you can especially in nice arching back poses and impressive splits. Try your best to master hard and weird postures like arm balancing poses and inversions (headstand, armstand…) don’t forget to post your new photos in super poses on facebook, instagram, twitter, etc…

4. Express unconditional love. Hug. Smile.

No matter how you really feel about the person or situation in front of you wear a “spiritual” smile (usually from ear to ear). Express “deep love” and compassion (the more you talk about it the better) towards every tiny creature “suffering”: ants smashed by pedestrians, homeless cats, withering flowers… of course, your family members and colleagues at work can wait a little more till you start noticing they exist. Meanwhile talk as much as you can about love and happiness. Tell others about the peace and love you experience… these are definite markers of “spirituality” don’t fail to hold them tight.

5. Focus only on yourself.

Self-development, self-empowerment, self-esteem, selfwhatever… this is what spirituality is about. Do not listen to the news. It is full of stress. If it happens that you listen stay careless. Why do you care what is happening “outside”. Focus only on yourself. Make yourself happier, do only things that you love to do, avoid any activity that you do not like. Avoid any effort or duty, do only what you love not what you “should” do. Love yourself “as you deserve to be loved”. Struggle against any feeling of emptiness and silence within you. Whenever you feel empty do something, don’t just sit… Keep yourself “busy” developing yourself.

6. Use spiritual gadgets.

crystalhealing-1Use chakra opening stones and crystals to balance your energy. The color and quality of the stone can make a great difference in your spiritual evolution. So do your yoga pants and shirts. Use incense and candles at your home . Make an “om” tattoo or wear an “om” necklace, it will definitely boost your spiritual growth. Drink soya milk, take yoga pills.Local diets are a hindrance in the path of spirituality, a macrobiotic diet is surely much more enlightening.

Stick to these advises and encourage others to do if you really want to mute any urge for real spiritual growth in you and in others… adhere to them to stay “spiritually high” and totally deludedabout true spirituality and its meaning… don’t hesitate to contact any of the new age gurus for a further destructions… eh… sorry, instructions.