After our last meditation and the discussion that followed I have been reflecting and reading and have some questions… I have reached a mini state of calmness due to meditation which I am very thankful to you for dragging me there:)
I am pretty sure that I will reach more and more calmness 🙂
But I still sometimes experience ups and downs with anger…
Questions: How can you control being angry? Is this possible? And is there really what we call inner peace or is it like “the warrior break” preparing for the next battle??
Life is a journey full of adventures. Adventures can be easy, can be tiring and can also be risky… An adventure is a game not a battle no matter how tiring and risky it is. If you are preparing for a battle you are then taking things to be more serious than they really are. If you choose to treat it as a battle remember that you are choosing yourself to be be the field of engagement and combat, and you are choosing (whether knowing it or not) to accept all the consequences and casualties. Life is a game even when it hurts, even when it is harsh and cruel. We can do our best to make it fairer and more compassionate but it will never stop being a game.
Peace is always there, even in the hardest times. You cannot lose it because it is your basic nature. It is what you really are. Of course you can be distracted by events, by thoughts and worries and you stop noticing it. But peace doesn’t seize to be your true nature. It is just that you deprived yourself of the tool of its manifestation. A talented musician who had never encountered a musical instrument cannot discover his talent. If he doesn’t have an instrument he won’t be able to manifest his talents. But this doesn’t make him less talented. When it comes to experiencing inner peace you yourself are the tool, the instrument of peace. Either you tune yourself to the peace within and deal with Life from a state of steadiness an openness, or you allow the stress from without to distract you totally.
Don’t try to “control anger”. Life is not a system of power. The more you try to control the more energy you give to that same thing you are trying to control. Don’t set “attaining inner peace” as a duty in front of you. Seeking is actually the opposite of peace. When you seek you start from an assumption that something is missing. Don’t fight yourself for bring angry. It is ok to burst with anger if this is spontaneous. Instead of suppressing anger (which will eventually add to your anger) just be aware that you are angry. In the same manner as you are aware of a thought in meditation. See your anger instead of allowing it to overwhelm. As you are already experiencing, regular meditation adds space to your being. Use this space to watch the ups and down of your mood. The best thing about our approach is its spontaneousity. Anger, depression, insularity are consequences of deeper imbalance. They are like shadows that move according to the movement of other objects. It is of no use to try to control the shadow while the object shedding it is still freely moving… our approach brings the change from the depth to surface.
If you are dealing with some issues that need you to be strict and serious inner calmness will not be a hindrance. If you need to face something or someone with an angry face, allow your tone and face to look angry but don’t get consumed by anger. If the rules of the game are such that you should show anger show it. But remember that deep within you are not affected with this anger… a parent can make an angry face and speak with an angry tone to rebuke a child who has just made his clothes dirty… a team captain can shout and show anger if a player misses the goal… but it is a game. Enjoy it!